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The Town of F*cking Don't Like F*cking Tourists F*cking Road Signs
Written by Anchorman   

Authorities in the small quaint Austrian village, oh-so-happily named F*cking, are clamping down on tourists that perform sexually explicit poses in front of their signboards by installing CCTV cameras.

F***ing Signboard

F*cking authorities stated that they were tired of tourists acting out the name of the village in front of their signboards while the cameras were clicking. A disgruntled F*cking resident,  stated that they were a 'very traditional community' and further added that F*cking villagers found 'this sort of public display shocking.'

They hope that the CCTV cameras will discourage crude poses with their signboards and also deter some overly enthusiastic tourists from stealing the signs.

The name of the village is believed to have originated in the 6th century from a noble name Lord Focko. The 'ing' was added as it means 'family off' in Old German. There was a vote in 2004 to change the name of the town, but the F*cking residents voted against it.

 
Town in Australia Bans Bottled Water
Written by Anchorman   

The highland town of Bundanoon has become the first town in Australia to impose a ban on commercially bottled water. The decision came shortly after the state of New South Wales passed a boycott of their own on bottled water.

Bottled Water

The decision was made in Bundanoon Memorial Hall two nights ago where 400 of the locals gathered to vote, the biggest turn out for a vote yet. Suffice to say the majority was for the ban as there were only two votes against. Businesses around the small town were unanimous in agreeing with the new sanction.

The election was championed by local business man and head of the 'Bundy on Tap' program, Huw Kingston. The motivation behind the ban is to reduce the carbon footprint left by the bottled water industry. Bottling and transportation is said to be major contirbutors to CO2 emmissions and the sleepy town of Bundanoon wants to do their part to help curb the problem.

A 600ml plastic bottle for example uses about 200ml of oil to produce. This doesn't include the energy used to transport the bottles and that required to destroy/recycle the bottle.

The 'Bundy on Tap' program is their alternative. Free water fountains that are installed all around the little village to ensure residents and visiting tourists never go thirsty.

Residents of the town commented that they hope to be the catalyst of change to a much larger movement. Whether these 400 people can trigger something off is yet to be seen.

A major move like this comes will of course be accompanied with controversy as well. Head of the Australasian Bottled Water Institute, Geoff Parker, conveyed his disappointment over the new actions and commented that the move restricts consumer choice.

"The environmental footprint of one bottle of water of locally produced water would be much smaller than a tin of canned tomatoes imported from overseas, some imported cheese, or French champagne," he said according to the Daily Telegraph.

So what is next on the list?

 
Teacher Accidentally Gives Sex Tape to Students
Written by Anchorman   

A teacher in California wanted to leave her students some fond memories of their time together, so she made for them a special DVD of class activities. Much to her dismay one of the videos included in the DVD was a six second clip of her pleasuring herself.

Shocked Kid Crystal Defanti

Crystal Defanti (not a porn name) teaches elementary school in Isabelle Jackson Elementary School. She created the DVD in her home computer and distributed copies of it to her entire elementary class unaware of the extra footage that got into the final copy. She only found out about the home-video when a distraught parent called her after seeing it for himself.

After learning of this, an apologetic and panicked Defanti immediately contacted the other parents pleading with them to quickly destroy the DVDs. Something that didn't happen obviously since CBS news was playing the footage on their program.

The school board commented that they would not sack Defanti as she was a good teacher and the whole incident was unintentional. They also commented that nothing illegal had happened and disciplinary actions on Defanti will be conducted within the school. To the parents, the school board simply advised them to destroy the DVD.

Most of the parents have not objected to the ruling but have pushed to get counseling for their children. Particularly to answer the subsequent long list of questions the students undoubtedly have.

CBS News Footage (contains graphic content)

 

 

 
Malaysia's Viagra-Coffee Makers Get Busted
Written by Anchorman   

A coffee company in Malaysia was raided by authorities yesterday, who seized 9000 sachets of Viagra laced coffee worth over $72,000 ringgit (US$20,000). The coffee mixture was being marketed by the company to have a secret ingredient which "perked up" customers.

Coffee Viagra Perks Customers Up

The manufacturer managed to avoid detection for a long time by selling their coffee sachets in small quantities through a tight distribution channel. Health officials however caught wind of the product when they discovered it was being sold for quadruple the price of regular coffee.

Authorities commented that usually when coffee is being sold at such a premium there is a large chance that it contains the ingredient, sildenafil, which is the key ingredient in Viagra.

Sildenafil or Viagra is a controlled substance in Malaysia, and is only allowed to be purchased in pharamacies providing customers present a doctor's prescription.

The coffee company in Gombak, Kuala Lumpur marketed their product as being beneficial to men along with providing an energy boost. Authorities do not know how many sachets have already been sold but believe that they have been distributed nationwide.

Sildenafil can be dangerous to those with heart problems or high blood pressure. Other side effects include headaches, stomach aches, hearing loss, vision impairment and muscle pain.

 

 
2 Year Old - Pack a Day Smoker
Written by Anchorman   

Tong Liangliang was dealt a bad card when he was born with a hernia. Something that undoubtedly causes a great deal of discomfort. His best way to deal with the pain was to light up and smoke a cigarette. His father introduced cigarettes to him, and admitted it proudly to reporters.

At first he was given a cigarette whenever the pain got too bad. It would be one or two a day. The nicotine soon took over and the cravings came about more often.

Tong Liangliang is 2 years old.

Youngest smoker in the world
Photo source: news.com.au

CRI news agency reported that his father started him on the habit when he found no other way to calm him down during his tantrums. His father said that he was too young for an operation to remove the hernia, so in between the bottle feedings and bedtime stories, he slipped Tong a cigarette to calm his nerves.

His father figured this was harmless until the toddler's demands for a cigarette came about more frequently. He did this with temper tantrums by screaming and throwing himself to the floor until there was no other option but to pass him a smoke. His father saw no other way but to keep feeding his habit. Tong today, smokes about a pack a day, sometimes more, making him the youngest smoker....or at least the youngest admitted smoker the world has seen.

 
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